Dennis Miller Live

Ian made a guest appearance on Dennis Miller Live on January 28, 2005.  The following transcript was provided by Gary W. Rad. 

DENNIS MILLER LIVE       "Take 5 " segment with Ian Somerhalder
CNBC TV
Original broadcast date: January 28, 2005

Transcript by Gary W. Rad 

 
 
A clip is shown from LOST where Locke knocks out Boone with the reverse end of a knife.
 
DENNIS MILLER- See....that's what happens when you try to stab somebody with the wrong end of the knife (makes a stabbing motion...audience laughs). Now let's take five with one of the stars of, uh...movies LIFE AS A HOUSE and THE RULES OF ATTRACTION and also the hit new adventure drama LOST. Please welcome Ian Somerhalder.   Ian !
 
(audience applauds)
 
DENNIS MILLER- What's happening, man ? Good to meet you, Somerhalder !
 
IAN- Very nice to meet you.
 
DENNIS MILLER- Somerhalder, you're on the new water cooler hit, baby. It must feel good.
 
IAN- It is pretty cool.
 
DENNIS MILLER- Yeah, how many people in this cast ?
 
IAN- Miller...you got a show ! No....
 
DENNIS MILLER- I like when you call me Miller...it uses that easy familiarity like Butch and the Kid. But how many people are in this cast ?
 
IAN- Uh, there are 14 of us.
 
DENNIS MILLER- Yeah ? Everybody getting along out there in Hawaii ?
 
IAN- It's pretty amazing.
 
DENNIS MILLER- Yeah ?
 
IAN- Pretty amazing...
 
DENNIS MILLER- 14...there's gonna be somebody that bugs you.
 
IAN- You know....
 
DENNIS MILLER- I'm not asking you to tell me, but...
 
IAN- I would tell you. No, no, no...they're incredible. It's really amazing, this entire group of people on this island...everyone truly adores and respects each other. It's pretty bizarre.
 
DENNIS MILLER- But the thing is about this show, the reason it's a hit, is nobody knows where the hell it's going, which is a good thing. I mean there are some ups and downs here.
 
IAN- Yeah.
 
DENNIS MILLER- Do they let you people know until the last minute ?
 
IAN- We know at the last minute.
 
DENNIS MILLER- Yeah, because they don't want you to be ratting it out. You know, it's like giving you script pages...they only give them to you a certain amount at a time...
 
IAN- Well, they know that we're actors, so all we do is talk.
 
DENNIS MILLER- Right.
 
IAN- Umm, and they're...
 
DENNIS MILLER- It would end up screwing the pooch. Everybody would know the story before it got on TV.
 
IAN- (looking puzzled)  Screwing the pooch ?
 
DENNIS MILLER- That's an old NASA phrase...that when an astronaut used to blow it in training they'd say "screw the pooch."
 
IAN- Oh...
 
DENNIS MILLER- They didn't actually screw the pooch, it's just...
 
IAN- (laughing) Learn something new every day !
 
DENNIS MILLER- Well, you're a young kid, I want to lead you through these things. Now, uh...
 
IAN- Thank you, sir !
 
DENNIS MILLER- When you guys get together...you know they shoot a lot of pilots in this town. They shoot a lot of shows, and the attrition rate between the 100 they shoot and to winnow it down to one, much less the one huge hit of the season, along with DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES...you've got 2 on that network. Um, did anybody  have any idea what you were doing or did you just think, hell, this seems better than some of the stuff I've shot before...or did you know it was a hit ?
 
IAN- No, we knew it was really really great and it was just sort of a secret that we had maybe when we let that secret out people would like it as much as we did...and they did, which was extraordinary. Yeah, you know...you shoot it and you know the material is incredible. It's J.J. Abrams, you don't know...
 
DENNIS MILLER- He's the dude that did Alias, right ?
 
IAN- Yes. He also wrote great movies like REGARDING HENRY and, uh, lots of stuff. He's directing MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 ...he's all over the place, the guy's a genius. Ummm...but we knew it was great. We just didn't know, you know, none of us had been a part of something this big. Crazy.
 
DENNIS MILLER- How are you handling this...you're a good looking kid... you're famous now. Are you getting laid left and right ?
 
(audience laughs)
 
IAN- (looking embarrassed, smiles ) It's not bad ! (laughing)
 
DENNIS MILLER- (laughing) How old are you ? You seem like a young man.
 
IAN- 26.
 
DENNIS MILLER- You got your head on straight ? You're gonna be able to deal with this ?
 
IAN- I hope so.
 
DENNIS MILLER- Because you know it comes at you pretty fast...you don't want to blow it because once you get kicked out of line they don't let you back in.
 
IAN- We live in Hawaii, so you're so removed from everything in Hawaii, which is...
 
DENNIS MILLER- That's probably a good step to be off the mainland when you're this red hot and famous, man.
 
IAN- It's pretty....well, not that. I'm not going to agree with that, sorry. I don't know about the whole fame thing but it's pretty darn cool.
 
DENNIS MILLER- Now, you've got that SMALLVILLE look, you know ? Eventually they're going to start noticing you'll be on Tiger Beat magazine. Believe me, I know. I was David Cassidy before David Cassidy and, uh, it happens. It happens like that !  (audience laughs)
Now tell me this...I heard they played a practical joke on you...you had to kiss your stepsister on the show, right ?
 
IAN- Yeah....Maggie Grace, the girl who plays my sister...
 
DENNIS MILLER- Your stepsister.
 
IAN- Stepsister, yes. The beautiful and talented prankster she is. We had a scene which was pretty shocking and...  (a photo of Maggie Grace is shown)   was that a clip of her ? Why do they do that every time ...
 
DENNIS MILLER- They wanted to show how pretty she was so to make the story hotter and people tune in. So, anyway...go ahead.
 
IAN- No...it just, uh...shocker, you know, kissing your sister...stepsister on the show was a pretty neat thing and...
 
DENNIS MILLER- What did you draw on in your past ?  (audience laughs)
 
IAN- Well...I am from the south, so...   (audience and Dennis laughs) By the way, that was bad. I'm sorry (shakes hands with Dennis)
 
DENNIS MILLER- No, that was a good shot !
 
IAN- That was horrible. But, uh...no, no, no...we did this scene...we had to kiss all day. It was horrible kissing a beautiful woman all day (smiling) but, uh, she...we wrapped it. We finished the scene, they checked the gate, blah blah blah. I'm walking out, going to get in the car to go back home. Long day...excruciatingly emotional.
 
DENNIS MILLER- You're done.
 
IAN- Yes, exactly. And I hear this walkie (talkie) like "get Ian back in there please." You know, the director forgot something. All right, one more take, one more take. Go back in...everything's the same. The room was the same, the crew's ready. We go back to do this take. Action. She grabs my face and dumps a mouthful of minced garlic and onion sautéed in saliva into my mouth (audience groans). It wasn't really sautéed but it had been sautéing in her mouth...
 
DENNIS MILLER- Yeah.
 
IAN- And she wore a, like a male baseball cup, and pulled herself towards me...
 
DENNIS MILLER- Well, that is what kissing your sister should be about !
 
IAN- It really pissed me off.
 
DENNIS MILLER- It shouldn't be too pleasurable.
 
IAN- And the crew erupted in laughter. They had apparently been knowing that this was going to happen for a long time.
 
DENNIS MILLER- 16 hour days...you've gotta break it up once in a while, man. Well, listen, I'm happy for you (they shake hands again). You've got a big hit  there. Enjoy it  !
 
IAN- Thank you, thank you very very much.
 
DENNIS MILLER- Ian Somerhalder. We'll be right back !
 
END
 
During this interview CNBC ran the following messages :
 
"Was the face of Guess Clothing and was featured in their Fall campaigns for two years."
 
"Made his TV debut on an episode of the sci-fi drama "Now and Again" in 1999."
 
"Was one of the leads in the MTV Network feature, "Anatomy of a Hate Crime." 

 

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